Friday, November 21, 2008

Taxicab Confessions

Yesterday evening, I took a taxi from Oxford Street to Clerkenwell, and had the following conversation.

Taxi Driver: Lots of traffic 'cause of the Christmas lights on New Bond Street. They've just switched 'em on.

Me: Oh. What do the lights look like?

TD (giving me a weird look): Like lights.

Me: No, I mean the ones in Regent Street are stars, and the ones on Oxford Street are bells, so...

TD: A bra.

Me: Sorry?

TD: They're a bra. (Makes 'bra' shape with his hands.) And then there's a bit dangling down from the middle of the bra.

Me: Do you think... it might just be you who thinks they look like a bra? The designer probably didn't mean for people to think they were a bra.

TD (huffily): Don't see what else they could be!

Me: I mean, back home, they used to have lights shaped like candles. And there was a flame sputtering out of the end of the candle. But I thought it was something else.

TD (confused): What did you think it was?

Me: Er... you know.

TD: No. What?

Me: Um... a man... weeing.

TD: Oh.

We sat in silence for the rest of the journey.

11 comments:

Josh said...

I've not seen the lights on Bond street yet so I should reserve judgment on this cab driver until I do.... Still in terms of what I usually hear in cabs this should go in the 'good' pile.

slurper said...

I am horrified! Bras? A man weeing? What won't you think of next!

Graham said...

If the lights round here reminded me of breasts I might be able to tolerate them a little more.

Reduce CO2 emissions! Ban all Christmas lights!

Ariane said...

Josh: Blimey! What do you usually hear in cabs?

Slurper: I don't know - that's the exciting thing.

Graham: Grinch!

Duohedron Politico said...

I hear there are lights in the trees on Oxford Street too. It is a travesty as they are bound to electrocute the monkeys who swing through them.

Brother Tobias said...

They've probably made them bra-shaped so the light men can remove them easily on 12th night.

slurper said...

Women's bits?

Ariane said...

Duohedron: Those monkeys deserve everything they get.

Tobias: That made me laugh, though I've never known a man who can remove them easily...

Slurper: http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2008/feb/21/comeagain

KJB said...

This has improved my day!

bow said...

They look like a bow imo. One of those you put onto presents. But might be bras you put onto presents as well.

Alessa Mendes said...

Sorry... again. I'm in need of some cheer to rid myself of the glums, and you have managed to make my laugh hysterically - people are actually staring.