In March this year, I lost a DVD. I am ashamed to admit that this DVD was "Anthea Turner: Perfect Housewife Series 2 Disc 1". I would absolve myself by claiming it wasn't my DVD, which is true, but this disclaimer would then be rendered moot by the confession that I indeed chose to rent said DVD from LoveFilm.
LoveFilm (as you probably know) is one of many DVD rental services which sends you discs with "no late fees". You receive them, you watch them, you post them back, you pay a subscription fee every month (for me, it was £15.99). I largely enjoyed this process, even though the Post Office kept losing them, and I worried that LoveFilm were getting a little suspicious.
So when I lost a DVD myself, I decided I had to find it. I refused to blame its loss on the postal service as I had done (legitimately) so many times before. I would hunt it down, return it, and then (as writing was taking up a lot of my time) I would cancel the service. I refused to write the DVD off as lost, because there was no point paying for something I didn't want to buy, which had to be in my room somewhere. The only problem was that it wasn't.
I searched everywhere: behind my bed, under my bed, under my table, in my under-bed drawer. I lost hours of my life to that DVD. But it was to no avail: it was nowhere to be found. Every month, I thought "I've got to cancel!" Yet I kept forgetting. Finally, 9 months later and £133.84 poorer, I conceded defeat.
I marked the DVD as "lost" on my LoveFilm account, and told them I wanted to pay for it before cancelling my account.
Today, I received this reply:
"Dear Ms Sherine
We appreciate your recent email informing us that you are willing to pay for the cost of the lost title 'Perfect Housewife - Series 2 - Disc 1'. We would like to inform you that we have written off the outstanding DVD as a gesture of goodwill and the title is no longer outstanding on your account."
It was very kind of them, but I do wish I'd emailed them 9 months ago. I also wish it had been Citizen Kane instead. That would have been a lot more dignified.