And so I shrink further, while simultaneously making desserts I can't eat:
It's like buying an audiobook when you've got no ears.
This week I finished the only book that has ever made me cry. It's called The Hand That First Held Mine, and is about motherhood, love and loss. It intertwines two stories - one present, one based in 1950s bohemia - and, while I found the strand set in the past thoroughly compelling, the present-day thread left me cold until the very end, when it clicked into place. I'd definitely recommend it if you need to cry anytime soon.
Talking of crying, Lily's first tooth is currently coming through, so I went to the pharmacy to buy a teething ring.
Me: I'd like a teething ring please, for a four-month-old.
Eastern European sales assistant: It has poo on it?
Me (confused): I'm sorry?
Sales assistant: You want poo on it?
Me: Er, I'm not sure...
SALES ASSISTANT FETCHES RING. POINTS AT PICTURE OF WINNIE THE POOH ON THE FRONT.
Sales assistant: Has Pooh on it!
Me (relieved): Ah, good, I like Pooh!
I'm not sure what anyone overhearing that conversation would have thought.
8 comments:
The Hand That First Held Mine is a decent read but it didn't make me cry. Mind you, I'm an emotionless husk of a creature so you might be right. I had the opposite reaction to the ending - I thought it was a let down after a promising build up.
Meanwhile, new scales! I'm sure Salter are grateful for your brand loyalty.
Will it be bottle only now that the presence of a tooth has appeared?
I need a break from crying (pregnancy hormones and all that). I'm sticking to light chick lits for now. Your humour does the trick once a week!
When it comes to desserts, you are like an alcoholic who stopped drinking, or is it just me?
At least you're not resorting to the kind of mumbo jumbo being peddled by 'alternative' nutritionists etc...
like Detox: http://coffeelovingskeptic.com/?p=643 or "complementary" supplements: http://coffeelovingskeptic.com/?p=692
Will there be another Atheist Xmas book by the way??
@Graham: Intriguing. I thought the book verged on dull until two-thirds of the way through, when it picked up pace and turned into a kind of sedate thriller.
And alas, they're not my scales, but my in-laws', as I've been on holiday this week. (If my scales broke, I don't think I'd be looking to buy a new set of Salters!)
@Alessa: Thanks a lot. No, I'm sticking with the breast for now - apparently they only occasionally nip you when the teeth come through!
@Guillaume: You may be right. Though sadly I fell off the wagon this week and ate lots of cake...
@CoffeeLovingSkeptic: No new book, sorry (at least not from me), and no mumbo-jumbo either. Although my mother keeps trying to foist her homeopathic pills on me, and sometimes I take them to make her happy. (What harm can sugar do?)
The last book that made me cry was the Complete Novels of George Orwell. 928 pages. I dropped it on my bollocks.
Regarding: Simply The Breast
Congratulations to becoming less and less all the time! Kilograms sound a lot better than comparing one´s weight with stones. Unless one´s a Flintstone, of course.
I do miss the partly chipped off nail varnish though, it gave that authentic touch to the photos.
Thank you for the breast-feeding link. Funny to learn that everything can be turned into a kind of religion. When my daughter was getting interested in food at about three months of age, we let her taste some banana and other easily mushed fruit. From the forth month on we regularly fed her additional fruit to breast-feeding, and from the ninth month on breast-feeding was the dessert after the meal. With 15 month she got weaned, since she insisted on using her tiny sharp teeth on her mothers nipples. Besides from that it all went so smoothly and natural, just watching the baby and trying to fulfil her wishes and needs without consulting all the different public views to that theme. You will find a lot more people knowing everything about child-raising better, than there are actually child-dominated households in this country of mine (1.3 kids per woman).
Adding some other nutrition gave me a better opportunity to fulfil my duties as father, for 3 years I spent half the week with the baby. The first six months mainly following her mother all around town to breast-feed (the baby of course...). Formula was not an option: biologists have their ideology too (and besides the baby didn´t like it, what really put it off the menu).
"Finally, cursing, I put her back on my bare nipple, and after two weeks the pain ebbed. " Your invention to ease the pain of your nipples by putting your baby´s back on them and cursing at the same time should definitely make it´s way to some medical journal ;-)
Doing the most natural thing humans are capable of is a taboo of course. Exchange of liquids of any kind is strictly against the codex of morality. Everything has to be completely dry and skin has to be covered, so we can forget about our descent in a decent way.
@Matt: Lies! But funny.
@NoGodZone: Thanks for your very interesting and detailed comment. Sorry about the lack of nail varnish, but you have my promise that the photos are authentic. Glad you're enjoying being a father. By the way, you refer to your country - which one is it?
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