Lately, I have been buying a lot of fruit, which has reminded me of being pregnant. In the world of pregnancy websites, people were obsessed with fruit. “At seven weeks, your baby is as big as a blueberry!” they would gush. “In week twelve, your baby is as big as a plum. At fifteen weeks, your baby is the size of an apple.”
I felt like saying, “What kind of apple? One of those shrivelled Cox pippins from a malformed garden tree, or a huge Tesco’s Finest golden delicious?” But no specifics were forthcoming. It’s almost as though they didn’t care what kind of apple was growing inside me.
The process of giving birth was also fruitified. “It’s like shitting a melon”, mothers would warn eloquently, or alternatively, “it’s like pushing a watermelon through a lemon”. Unaware that I would end up having a caesarean, I was faintly terrified, thinking about the probable state of said lemon afterwards. After childbirth, was I still going to be able to make lemon meringue pie, or would the lemon be fit only for recycling?
Most fruit is conveniently spherical for baby-sizing, and it also fits into the “eating healthily” ethos of pregnancy sites. Unfortunately, all my cravings were for chocolate. It would be more accurate if they'd said, “At seven weeks, your baby is as big as a Malteser! At fifteen weeks, your baby is the size of a Wagon Wheel.”
If I'd only stuck to fruit and eschewed chocolate, I wouldn't have to be posting up weekly pictures of scales now. Still, I've lost 11.4 lbs since I started back in August. Only another 16.4 lbs to go...
10 comments:
All I have in my head now is a very inappropriate 'sourpuss' joke.
Congratulations on the 11.4 lbs. Losing weight so slowly is frustrating, I know. (Damn that Heidi Klum!)
I much preferred my 2-week post-delivery stage when I shed 20 lbs. instantly. Now I've only lost 1.6 lbs. in one week.
I, too, craved chocolate and am now paying for it. But wasn't it totally worth it (the chocolate)?
Well done on the weight loss. Toenails looking good :-)
I guess fruits are symbols of fertility, so this is maybe why they associate babies with them. And harvest: little boys coming from cabbages, little girls from roses...
@Graham: I see what you did there. Very good, very good.
@Alessa: Wow! 20 lbs? That's amazing! Are you taking that from after birth or pre-birth? I lost about half a stone quickly after the birth (think it was mostly excess water), but it's been a struggle to lose it since. Have been regretting the chocolate, to be honest. And I suspect Heidi Klum lives on lettuce...
@irondanimal: Thank you. No toenails this week I'm afraid. Maybe next week.
@Guillaume: That's very poetic. I hadn't heard that before. Yes, they are the 'fruit of our loins', etc.
@Ariane - all I know is that I plateaued at 175 lbs during the final stretch of my pregnancy. Then, at my 2-week post-delivery appointment, which was really my baby's check-up appt, I weighed 155 lbs. I've been crawling ever so slowly ever since.
Obviously the 20 lbs I lost was all water, baby, and other pregnancy "stuff".
I still want chocolate =(
@Alessa: 148.2lbs after the first month is doing brilliantly! I know it's slower than you'd like, but you'll get there before you know it. Like someone said, "We took nine months to put it on - we'll take nine months to take it off." It'll be worth all the effort in the end. (And you're working out, on top of all the other chores. I must confess, I haven't done a workout in ages.)
@Ariane - thought you were trying out Tracy Anderson?
Anyway, yes, I know I must be patient. I just miss all of my old clothes.
At least we're both in the same boat. I can't wait to see you once you've reached your goal (motivation for me!)
Slow and steady, that´s the way to go. You´re a good loser of weight, since fast loss is water and comes back with any drink in a flash.
I mean, if we still can trust the " weekly pictures of scales" now that the varnish has gone first, and then the toes - who knows if there are still both feet on the balance? ;-)
Please don´t forget to get your iron and calcium levels checked since Lily gets a lot of yours via milk - a vegan diet deserves an extra portion of care for your health.
Any chocolate was worth being eaten by you - either its energy turned into neat literature directly or via over-weight into a neat blog.
I agree that it is kind of peculiar to compare the fruit of our loin to edible plant parts. On the other hand comparing the embryo to a bullet, a hen´s egg or a football isn´t quite appropriate either. Here´s a call for really good scales for embryo size...
@Alessa: Was trying Tracy Anderson, but to be honest I'm so exhausted from breastfeeding, endless housework and carrying Lily around that doing a workout on top of that would be unrealistic at best. Plus hers is massively complicated! I'm so with you re. missing my old clothes - think I'm going to keep looking at them and old pictures of me for motivation. Can't wait to get back into them and put some 'before and after' photos up! Keep going - we'll get there...
@NoGodZone: Thanks a lot for the encouragement. Sorry for the absence of toes! There'll be some again next week. (I might even put some polish on). And cheers for the tips re. iron and calcium. That's a nice way to think about the chocolate, but I do wish I hadn't eaten so much. Or at least, I should have taken out shares in Cadbury's first.
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