Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Dressing Down

Ha ha! Everyone hates you! Billy no-mates.
Everyone does not hate me. Stop being a bastard. I bet Desmond Tutu doesn't hate me, or the Dalai Lama, or Nelson Mandela...

They would if they knew who you were. Just look at your Guardian piece. 1250 comments, most of them irate. And on a piece about kindness!
I think the headline was a little misleading. I wrote it, and I didn't realise how it would be misconstrued.

A likely story. You wrote it for traffic.
I wrote it with quotes, because it was catchy: Why I've ditched "God" for "good". If anything, I thought atheists would be upset with me for ditching atheist campaigning for campaigning on kindness. But they've all been very reasonable, as atheists tend to be.

Right. Why are we still writing in dialogue?
Because I used to be a TV scriptwriter and find it easier?

Didn't you write for that godawful BBC3 show, Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps?
Moving swiftly on... look at these photos!

Jesus, woman. You look like the wife of a Tory MP.
Isn't this dress lovely? It's from an ethically accredited clothing retailer called People Tree

People Tree? You can't just put two nouns together and decide it's a company name. Shall I call my new company Car Broom, or Radiator Spoon?
I'm not stopping you. Now can we focus on this dress please? It's called the Sandra Galaxy dress, and is only £51.

Did you get it for free?
No, I have to give it back. But it's fab, isn't it? Hugs your curves perfectly. The necklace is from People Tree too. And the shoes are the Callie heels from Beyond Skin, another ethical company.

What's so good about "ethical" companies?
It's great to know that these garments weren't made in a sweatshop, that the producers were paid a living wage, and that neither animals nor the environment were harmed in the production process, unlike with most garments.

Hmmph. I don't see many dresses going around stabbing cats.
Maybe that could be a feature of your new company Radiator Spoon?

That's a good idea.