Wednesday, January 1, 2014

New Year's Resolutions



Wait... I thought you didn't make new year's resolutions? What about this
That was four years ago. I've revised my opinion a little since then.

What are your resolutions then? Save the world singlehandedly?
I wish. My main resolution is to get out of debt while still trying to live ethically.

Are the two mutually exclusive?
Often, yes. It's harder to shop in independent stores if you're skint. Being vegan is more costly, too.

Eh? Houmous doesn't cost that much, surely?
We don't only eat houmous! If I want, say, a chocolate bar, it costs over twice as much as a non-vegan chocolate bar.

You must be more eco-friendly though, if you can't afford heating?
In a way, yes. But say I want to buy some recycled toilet roll: the nearest shop that stocks it is over a mile away, so unfortunately I often end up buying unrecycled rather than taking the bus.

Sacre bleu! Mon dieu! Ooh la la! How can you live with yourself?
With difficulty. Happy New Year to you anyhow.

Thank you. My new year's resolution is to seduce as many women as possible.
Just buy them all a vegan chocolate bar. They'll be putty in your hands.