Monday, April 23, 2018

A happy realisation

Another beautiful morning here in London, and I’m typing this while standing on the Tube, listening to a Spotify playlist called Perfect Days. It’s full of songs about relationships, and I’m suddenly realising that, for the first time, I feel pretty much fine about my marriage breakdown.

It wasn't meant to be; we were too different. The only thing I regret is hurting him - that doesn’t make me feel great about myself. But some hurt and arguments are inevitable in any marriage, sadly, and we both did things wrong. I don’t know if we’ll be able to salvage a friendship, which is a shame after 21 years - we aren’t talking at the moment.

But at the same time, I feel kind of liberated. There are lots of kind, supportive people in my life, but for the first time in a long time, there’s no one I have to talk to or spend time with. It’s always a choice, which is something you don’t have in a marriage. 

So I’ll be filing for divorce a week today, and it feels like it’ll be the start of a fresh exciting new life.