Saturday, April 7, 2018

Why I am blogging again

Hello, people of the internet.

I am writing this blog again for a few reasons:

1. SAFETY. I'm getting divorced, and for the first time, I am living alone in a house in bit of London that isn't the safest. I confess that this is partly my fault for kicking my husband out, but I digress a little. I have an absolute motherfucker of an alarm system - seriously, all bells and whistles - but writing a daily blog is an extra added level of security. If I haven't blogged by the end of one particular day, contact me and say 'Where the hell is the blog, Sherine?!' and if I don't reply, please RAISE ALL HELL.

2. WRITING. I just stumbled across this Guardian interview from ten years ago and thought sadly, 'I used to be funny.' Then I thought hopefully, 'Maybe I can still be funny?' Because I like being generally amusing. I first discovered this aged 11 in assembly at school, when I used to sing the boring religious hymns very loudly in an exaggerated Indian accent. The girls around me (who didn't even like me) would fall about laughing, and our evil teacher who enjoyed bullying kids would hiss through gritted teeth, 'Ariane, sing in your normal voice!' Then I would reply in a sing-song Indian accent, 'But I am Indian!' (And she couldn't very well send a letter home to the parents of an Indian girl saying 'Ariane is singing in an Indian accent'.)

3. CATHARSIS. I've been best friends with my husband since I was 16. That's over 21 years. His absence from my life is going to leave a hole (this is where you insert jokes about him filling my hole). And frankly, he doesn't want to hear from me, and I don't want to hear from him. We are a bit sick of each other. But I only have one other very close friend, John Fleming (whose blog is here). He is a wonderful man, and is so good at cheering me up I call him Jon Bon Jovial, but I don't want him to have to listen to all my woes non-stop, so I thought maybe you might want to read about them instead. And even if you don't, at least I get to write all about them (I do have a therapist, but I only talk to her for 50 minutes a week).

4. ROMANCE. Maybe, just maybe, I will eventually - maybe after I turn 38? - find someone new through blogging. Possibly not right now, because I'm not on the rebound, plus I'm hideously overweight and people are superficial. And also I can't date again until my divorce comes through, because that is legally considered infidelity as I'm technically married - even though my husband won't sleep with me, and is 100 miles away in any case, so NO SEX FOR ARIANE BY LAW! So if I'm not allowed to have sex or romantic intimacy, then maybe I can dream that some amazingly sexy man is reading this blog and thinking 'I'll hit up Sherine when her decree nisi comes through'. And if that's not a sizzlingly hot phrase, I don't know what is.

14 comments:

  1. I might do as part of the extended writing and catharsis program =) My inbox is always open (this is not the part where you make a joke about filling my box, it's just where you do so; it's sjohn@cumberlandgames.com these days). But of course, I'll be reading along here as well. Good to see you blogging again; sorry to hear of the circumstances =(

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey lovely - so great to hear from you! Thank you for your comment: my very first of the new blog. Will drop you a line soon :) xx

      Delete
    2. Sorry to read about this, but glad you are blogging again. I always found blogging cathartic in difficult times: when I was unemployed, when things were stressful for whatever reason. It helped me stay sane.

      As for staying safe, I recommend Krav Maga (and plugging my blog in the meantime, because I am shameless):

      https://vraiefiction.blogspot.co.uk/2016/03/pain-gain.html
      https://vraiefiction.blogspot.co.uk/2015/05/krav-maga-time.html

      Delete
    3. Thanks hon. I hope it'll have the same effect on me. Ha ha, that is fairly shameless, but I forgive you! x

      Delete
    4. Miss your daily videos so this is good way to be part of your life again. Miss you girl. Take care of yourself and the 6 year old!

      Delete
    5. Enjoyed your blog. Sorry to read that your marriage has ended. I trust you will find diversion in other things until life becomes more settled for you. Look after yourself. xxxxx

      Delete
    6. @Sandra: Thank you so much - miss you too!

      @Robert: Thank you very much - glad you enjoyed it.

      Delete
  2. I have always enjoyed your writing and blogs more than your other works. To me you are a wonderful person intelligent intellectual humorous and beautiful and it would be surprise to know you are romantic or like wild sex with your lover?? You have very vulnerable and complicated past and you have suffered lot. But your is beauty you bounce back very optimistically that's what I like about you. Good luck for your future career and book and I wish if could have been there I must have taken you as my whole universe. Love you!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Thank you for your kind wishes!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Good on you for getting back to writing, I look forward to hearing your daily musings.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you! I hope you enjoy them.

      Delete
  5. Before today, I had never heard of you. Maybe it's because I've only been an atheist for a year now, or maybe it's because you live in a different country. I am separated from my wife and have all kinds of free time these days, so I'm hoping that this blog of yours becomes a collection of tips and tricks that you have learned from being alone. Anyway, I like it so far. Cheers!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, I'm not very famous, or famous at all in fact, so you're forgiven! Sorry about your separation. I'll endeavour to share anything I learn about living alone. And thank you!

      Delete